Life Lessons
by Ruler of Destiny
Summary: This Riza Hawkeye that he lived with was evil. She was stubborn and pushy and it was up to his dignity as a boy to teach her a lesson. Somewhere along the line though, something went wrong. How he hated that stupid slingshot!
1. Lesson 1: Girls Rule

**This is… well I couldn't sleep so I drew a picture. The next night, I couldn't sleep so I wrote a fic for the picture. It ended up being a little longer than I expected it to be. It most likely isn't my best work. I'm in no position to judge as while I'm typing this I haven't had sleep in over 24 hours. Please excuse typos.**

**Disclaimer: I would be absolutely appalled if someone thought I owned this. My drawing skills aren't nearly good enough to compare to Hiromu Arakawa's. **

**Valuable Life Lessons**

October was a perfect month in her opinion. The heat of summer was slowly fading, but the chill of winter had not yet settled into the land. The world was preparing itself for the long cold nights of winter. After the bloom of summer, it was ready for a nice rest. It was also her favorite time to explore the forest. The red and yellow leaves gave the impression of walking in the sun or through fire.

For all the time she spent there, the forest might as well have been her second home. She knew the forest like the back of her hand. On weekends she disappeared into the sea of trees and spent as much of the day as possible shooting, climbing trees, swimming, or whatever else she felt like doing. The peace and quiet of the forest was intoxicating.

Today the cloudless sky and light breeze promised a peaceful day that wasn't too hot or too cold.

"Ahhh!"

Unless humans were added to that mix.

Riza Hawkeye could only blink in confusion as she observed the scene before her. Roy Mustang, her father's student, was sitting on the ground. He was bent over, one arm supporting his weight while the other was furiously rubbing the back of his head. Considering the chain of events that had just occurred she had no doubt there was a small lump where his hand was.

After all, bumps were a common side effect of someone's head making contact with a projectile courtesy of a slingshot.

"Ow! Why do you have to use rocks? Why not something softer? Like paper!" Roy grumbled as he felt the bump on his head. Honestly! This girl was dangerous!

"That would defeat the purpose of my using it." Her voice was perfectly serious, but he could detect a hint of amusement. He scowled at her. Why was she always so _weird_?

"What's that? Giving me bruises?" This was a failure of epic proportions. He had failed to sneak up on the target, and to make matters worse _she_ got the jump on _him_! To be scared when _he _was supposed to be doing the scaring. It was disgraceful. Here he, a twelve year old boy, got beat by a nine year old _girl_. '_Perhaps girl isn't the right word. Girls don't shoot people for fun. They don't climb trees or hit people or play in the dirt either!_'

"Only when you deserve it." She ignored the sputtering her statement caused in favor of wondering why he was here in the first place. Noticing the mask on the ground, she decided it was probably a good thing she _had _"found" him when she had. "What were you doing here anyway?" Immediately the irritated boy's mouth closed with an audible click.

"Uhh, I was just, um, exploring! Yeah! Heh." He gulped and laughed nervously. He hoped she would drop it and forget she had ever seen him here. Unfortunately for him, he knew there was almost no chance of that happening. One of the first things he had learned about Riza Hawkeye was that she was as stubborn as she was a good shot. (_The first thing he had learned was that she had good aim and wasn't afraid to hurt him_) Their first meeting had been… less than cordial.

He was pretty certain his sisters will never let him live it down.

"How long were you following me?" Sometimes he hated being right.

"Following you? I wasn't following you! Why would I be following you?" The words came out rushed and panicky, and not at all like they had sounded in his head. Judging by Riza's expression, they didn't convince her either. As he babbled she gave him what he had termed the "you're an idiot and are getting more annoying by the second so shut up or fess up before I shoot you" look. Or "talk or die." Personally, he liked the first better. It was so much more fun to say.

"Well?" Uh oh. She was getting impatient. '_Think of an answer. Think! Don't let this girl get the upper hand! Pull together your strength and _think of an excuse quick before she shoots!'

"Iwastryingtosneakuponyouandscareyou!" The words flew out of his mouth before he even realized he had opened it. His brain froze, stunned at his body's treachery. Any and all pride he had held about being a boy shattered into pieces. One look. _One look_ was all it took to break him. He wasn't worthy of being called a boy. He was nothing. Just a pathetic weakling who bowed down to tea time and frilly ribbons. (_Never mind that Riza Hawkeye made decent tea but refused to share it or that she detested frilly ribbons and frilly things in general)_

So caught up in mourning his lost masculinity, Roy didn't notice that his newly recognized Superior In All Ways had loaded her weapon.

Thunk!

"Ow!"

----

(**Insert Imaginary Page Break**)

----

"Master Hawkeye, why are girls crazy?" Riza's father looked up from his studies to stare at his student curiously. The boy had a small bump on his forehead, and a very disgruntled look on his face. '_No doubt Riza's handiwork._'

"Sadly, that is a question not even the gods can answer." The boy didn't look at all satisfied with that answer.

"Lunch is ready! And you better wash your hands before you come down Roy!" Said boy groaned and sulked into the bathroom while his teacher looked on, reminded of his own wife.

"Poor kid. He isn't nearly stubborn enough to take on Riza." He watched as the boy jogged past again before heading down himself. "I'll give him a few years."

"Hey do you need help?" Roy poked his head into the kitchen cautiously. He had enough bruises as it was without antagonizing the crazy girl even more. The bruised (_physically and emotionally_) kid was in luck, as she merely pointed to the table and went back to finishing the food. "What did you make today?"

"Lasagna."

"Really! Awesome!"

Whap!

"No touching yet!"

"Awww come on! Just a taste!"

"You can wait until your plate is at the table!"

The two continued to bicker as the adult at the table listened with amusement. '_With Riza's loyalty and Roy's skills as an alchemist, they'll no doubt go far._' A small part of him, however, wondered if he would live to see them reach their potential. '_If not, at least I know she'll be taken care of._'

~Owari~

Almost exactly three pages. Not bad. It changed quite a bit in production. I have more, but I cut it out. I like how this ends. Maybe I'll post the deleted scenes another time. For now, I really need sleep.


	2. Lesson 2: Hawkeye is More Than a Name

So my computer is fixed. Happy days! I don't even know how long it's been down. So in celebration, I will type up something that has been floating around my head. I don't even care if people read it (though I hope they do). Nothing can make me unhappy for the next week or so. Almost nothing. Pretty much nothing. I don't want to jinx it.

Oh and once I get my printer up and running (in other words, once we find the program disk _) I'll scan and upload the pic that was the inspiration for the first chapter.

**Disclaimer: **Do I really have to? Fine. I don't own. Really. Trust me. I don't.

**Lesson 2:** Never Tease Little Girls With Slingshots aka "Hawkeye" Isn't Just Her Name.

The world flashed by in a dizzying blur of green and blue. As they traveled further away from the city, the number of houses dwindled until there were long stretches of green dividing the houses. Nature took over and soon there were few signs of human meddling.

"I don't understand how you can stare outside like that without getting sick." Roy Mustang started as his foster sister's voice broke his trance. Terry smiled as he grinned sheepishly.

"I'm just wondering what it's going to be like, living at this place." That earned him a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. There must be other children around, so you won't be too lonely. It won't be for the whole year either. We'll all write to you every week."

"I know. I just hope it'll be okay."

"It will be. You'll see. Who knows, you may even find a nice girl."

"Why would that matter?!"

~~~~~**About an hour later**~~~~~~

After the scenic drive, the two weary Mustang's arrived at a large two story house. It was clean, but not so clean that it looked like it wasn't lived in. The flowers and bushes were neatly trimmed and kept weed free.

"Wow. I wouldn't mind living here myself. I think you got lucky here kid. Look at that. The forest is practically their backyard!" Terry was very taken with the house. She decided it was perfect for a restless young boy. The town was only a short walk away, and the forest was just begging to be explored.

Unfortunately, it didn't seem as if anyone was home. They debated what to do. They could go to town and get something to eat, or they could simply wait.

"Excuse me. Do you need some help?" a small voice from behind them questioned. Surprised they turned to see a young blonde girl standing before them. Her arms were full with groceries and her clothes had dust spots. Her jacket went down to her knees, and a black hat nearly covered her eyes. Terry was the first to answer.

"Oh hello! Is this the Hawkeye residence?" She sent a charming smile at the girl. To her disappointment it didn't seem to have any effect on her. The girl simply nodded.

"Are you a maid or something?" Roy cocked his head at her. This girl didn't look impressive at all. He hoped she wasn't a maid. He didn't want to live with a _girl_. And he didn't want her going through his stuff. She didn't answer him though, only blinking at him before eyeing him cautiously.

"You must be the new student. The Master isn't here yet, but you can come inside if you want to. He shouldn't be gone too long." That said, she walked past them and headed to the door. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Terry giggling at the girl's dismissal of him. Not about to let that small hit to his pride go, he followed her readily.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you that it's rude to ignore people when they ask you a question?" Roy crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the annoying girl.

"Yes, I just don't see the point in answering dumb questions." With a click the door opened, though which the girl disappeared. He hesitated for all of a second before going in, Terry following. She dearly wished she had a camera. That little girl brought the funniest expressions to her brother's face. She walked through the living room to the dining room. When she caught up with the children, she could see they were in the kitchen staring each other down. The girl was clearly unimpressed with her brother's glare.

"How old are you? Five? You should respect your elders." Terry saw something flash in the girl's eyes, but it was gone before she could put a name to it. If she had to guess however, she judged that Roy was about to have a rather unpleasant experience. The thought that, as his sister, she should help him or warn him somehow was as fleeting as the look in that girl's eyes.

As he continued on, the girl steadily ignored him as she began shelving boxes and cans. She decided that it was her duty as his sister to ensure that he learned life's lessons. There are some lessons that can only be learned through personal experience, she reasoned. Including when to keep your mouth shut.

"I respect people who deserve to be respected." Her tone was very flat, and showed no sign of Roy's little speech having any effect on her. "And if you're just going to get in my way, _go away_." Seconds later, Roy found himself being pushed through a second doorway into the backroom.

"Hey! No pushing!" Incensed, he spun around as soon as she stopped to face the daring little girl. To his further annoyance, she had already gone back to putting away the groceries.

"Wait in there and stay out of my way if you aren't going to help."

"You can't tell me what to do!" Despite his words he made no move to go into the kitchen, choosing to talk from the doorway. "I'm older _and _bigger than you! And you're just a _girl_!" That seemed to catch her attention. She turned her head to face him, and he found himself staring into amber eyes. '_Pretty_' a traitorous part of his mind muttered.

"And?" While the dangerous tones creeping into her voice were lost on the dark haired boy, they were all but obvious to his sister. '_Oh this is going to end badly for him._' It was rather like watching a train wreck. You just couldn't pull yourself to look away.

"Well obviously boys are smarter and stronger than girls. We can do more things better than you can. We're useful." He sounded very smug in his opinion. '_Forget train wreck. This brat's just asking for that girl to hurt him. I have half a mind to do it myself._' Terry awaited the inevitable reaction. There was no visible change in the girl's expression, but she prided herself on her ability to read people and this girl was tensing for battle. "No little girl should be telling me what to do."

The girl acted before either Roy or Terry noticed. In a smooth and obviously well practiced movement she drew a slingshot and small rock from beneath her jacket, loaded them, and shot without taking the time to aim. Apparently she didn't need to as Roy stumbled back, his hand flying to his forehead as it started throbbing in pain. There was a very stunned silence for about five seconds before Terry started laughing. Her brother simply sat and stared at the girl in shock as he tried to process what had happened. As for the girl, she went back to putting away the groceries. During the commotion, none had heard the front door close.

"Riza, what's going on here?" Terry started. Behind her was a tall man with blonde hair. There was no small resemblance to the girl in the kitchen, and she realized suddenly that the little girl must be the teacher's daughter.

"Your new student is here father." Riza, as she was now named, showed no expression as she stared at her father. There was no hint that she had just shot a boy in the head. There didn't seem to need to be, as the man merely sighed and shook his head.

"What did he do?" He must have had a lot of trust in his daughter to not even question that the boy deserved it.

"He's a boy." She wasn't sure, but Terry could have sworn she saw a disturbingly satisfied smile flicker across her face before the girl finished shelving the cans. A hand rested on her shoulder.

"Let's talk in the dining room. The kitchen is Riza's territory." He frowned in thought. "So is most of the house, now that I think about it." She called Roy to come with them as they headed to the table. "I'm sorry for not being here. There was an emergency in town. That was my daughter, Riza, as I'm sure you figured out. I hope there wasn't any trouble." Terry took a glance at her brother's shell shocked face and she laughed.

"No trouble at all. In fact, I think she did me a favor." Roy payed little attention to the conversation going on around his head. He couldn't get his mind off the fact that this _girl _had _shot _him. '_She's crazy! I have a bad feeling about this._' How was he going to survive the next few years like this? One thing was for sure, that girl was nothing but trouble. '_Just look at the bright side, like mother always says. I only have to put up with that bossy, pushy, violent girl until my schooling is done. After that we'll never have to see each other again. How hard can it be?_'

~~~~Owari~~~~~

How was it? It was just an idea. I always wonder how their first meeting went, and I decided it would have been funny if Mustang had to be put in his place by Hawkeye.

Well I'm off. It's pretty late right now. About two in the morning. Ja ne. I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
